Saturday, August 23, 2014

Fuck You Black Keys (An album review)

Posted by show On December - 9 - 2011

Lovingly Written By: Andy Stewart

Fuck you, Black Keys. Fuck. You.

Fuck you for making 99% of my music collection obsolete with the release of El Camino. Fuck you for making me have to sit through 37 minutes and 42 seconds of you guys reminding me that you’re better than everyone else. Fuck you for only making this album 37 minutes and 42 seconds long you stingy fuckers. Fuck you for giving great interviews that show you’re decent guys who don’t take yourselves serious and give people like me hope that mountain-sized talent and humility can actually co-exist. Fuck you for making me blow my speakers on the first listen through of this album.

Fuck you for making every song so good. Every. Single. One. And not just so-so good, but light years ahead of the pack good. Like, everyone else might as well close up shop and head home good because these guys just showed the world how it should be done. So I say again, fuck you Black Keys.

Most of all though, fuck you for making me immediately impatient for your next album. If El Camino is this much better than Brothers (which was awesome), then the next album is surely going to usher in the rapture.

Fuck.

PS – Fuck you, Danger Mouse, you svengali, mad-genius, never-miss-the-mark mother fucker. Wasn’t Rome enough showing off for one year? For fuck’s sake give your peers a chance to catch up.

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